


Round Robin, The Formative Years -- Part Sex

by The Raven (theravenyesthatone)



Series: Crackfic Nonsense [1]
Category: The Devil Wears Prada (2006)
Genre: F/F, Nonsense, Other, crackfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:42:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25709146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theravenyesthatone/pseuds/The%20Raven
Summary: Okay kids, I found these two stories. They will make no sense AT ALL unless you find and read others. This is from over a decade ago when DWP had several thriving JL communities. As I wrote these nonsense things, I though it only appropriate that I include them here. I'm glad I saved them...I suppose one could say that the purpose of these crazy things was to exercise writing muscles and laugh and form a community spirit. Do read the preface to the stories in the body of the text.
Series: Crackfic Nonsense [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1864567
Kudos: 4





	Round Robin, The Formative Years -- Part Sex

Movie: The Devil Wears Prada  
Title: Round Robin, The Formative Years -- Part Sex  
Subtitle: You Said Sex  
Author: The Raven  
Pairing: Yes?  
Summary: Crackfic - Please see parts 1 thru 5 of this RR for a summary of current events leading up to this insane point in time.  
Rating: R  
Spoilers: Maybe?  
Disclaimer: They are not mine, I'm just rubbing them together to see what happens. The story however, is mine...  
Beta/Proofing: pdt & bed (sitting in a tree, k.i.s.s.i.n.g)  
Notes: I'd like to thank you all for the lovely feedback you are going to leave me telling me how awesome I am and all that nonsense. You rock! I am a last minute fill-in for this esteemed position so my ego needs stroking. Lower bb! (this is for the dwp ysosrsmiranda lj community) Prompts: 1) Miranda get caught reading Hothead Paisan, Homicidal Lesbian Terrorist. 2) How Andy intends to act as Irv's present. 3) Runway sings Baby Got Back. 4) Miranda has Chicken Little Syndrome and believes the sky is falling. 5) Emily walks around with an umbrella telling everyone, Tut tut, looks like rain. 6) (from scary via email) A mention of rock band where the members play with plastic guitars and drums. 7) Miranda and Andy trapped together in the trunk of a car.

Round Robin, The Formative Years -- Part Sex

"Miranda." Emily's voice caused Miranda to almost guiltily look up from what she was reading.

"Yes?" Hating the deeper tenor that her voice had suddenly taken since the advent of her giant orange penis, Miranda hoped that everyone would just assume that she had a cold.

"What are you reading?" Emily asked. Miranda raised an eyebrow at the personal question, but allowed it. Emily was hot after all and Miranda had an erection.

Why was it called an erection? It almost sounded like little men, (or women, Miranda supposed) were in her pants erecting a penis. Of all the absurdities.

"I'll show you if you come over here, straddle me and let me fuck you silly." Miranda suggested.

Immediately Emily came over, straddled Miranda and let Miranda fuck her silly. (And NO, I am not gonna describe no het sex for you, icky poo!)

After an entirely unsatisfying orgasm, Miranda finally realised the truth that she had suspected all along; women really did have it better. She pulled Emily off her with and showed her what she was reading.

"Hothead Paisan?" Emily exclaimed, looking perplexed and well fucked.

"Yes. Now get me my Starbucks. That's all." Miranda dismissed her assistant and tried to figure out where to drape her balls and cock. Women's panties were really not designed for this sort of thing.

o o o o

Andy watched Emily exit Miranda's office and even though she could not remember her life as a prostitute, she could tell that Emily had just been well fucked. Hmm, it seemed that her pimp was also in on the action. That only seemed fair.

"Andrea." A strangely feminine sounding tenor called to her so Andy obeyed and walked into the office that was in front of her.

"Yes?" Andy asked, wincing at the sight of an Adam's Apple on the throat of the otherwise beautiful woman with a five o'clock shadow on her face was sporting.

"Is the sky falling?" The woman asked.

"Is what?" Andy asked for clarification.

"Is. The. Sky. Falling?" The woman asked again.

"Well, I do have this bump on my head." Andy began.

Before she could finish the woman leapt up from her seat and began running around her office screaming.

"The sky is falling, the sky is falling!" The effect was ruined by the fact that it would see that the woman had a cock and balls which was cool, except it ruined the line of her suit.

Andy backed away, eager to distance herself from the screaming and the fashion faux pas that was occurring. As she turned, she ran into Emily again.

"Go see Irv, tell him Miranda has an issue with scheduling right now and can't make it. You will have to handle things yourself." Emily dismissed Andy and walked into the office.

Andy hoped that the sky would not fall on Emily.

o o o o

When Emily rushed into the office to see what on earth was going on, she tripped over Miranda's giant orange penis and hit her head on the edge of Miranda's desk, knocking herself out cold.

Miranda regarded this with a look of disdain, just so long as Emily did not start to bleed or anything, it might leave a mark otherwise. Then, with dismissive sniff, Miranda headed out to go and see if there was a fashionable jock strap or something available in the Closet.

This penis business was getting a little out of hand.

Maybe Nigel could help. Miranda thought about it for a while then nodded. Just so long as she did not have to be the bottom, if Nigel wanted to help her that way, it was also cool with her. (Yes, I am aware that many gay men don't do anal sex, so? This is crack, punny, no?)

As Miranda was leaving the office, Emily managed to pick herself off the floor and looked around in a daze. Miranda ignored her and continued on her journey.

Emily for her part was having her own sort of problems. She desperately needed an umbrella, it looked like it was going to rain.

In the distance she could hear Miranda exclaim: "The sky is falling! Is it so hard for me to get someone to do something about it?"

Grabbing an umbrella from the convenient stand that seemed to be in Miranda's office. (Yes, I put it there, shuddup!) Emily walked out of the office umbrella in hand and immediately cornered Serena and said, "Tut tut, looks like rain."

Serena just looked at her like she had lost her mind. Emily did not care though; it really did look like it was going to rain.

o o o o

By now, Andy had made her way to Irv's office and found herself wondering just what kind of services the man would require. After knocking and receiving permission to enter, she glanced at the man in question and immediately decided that regardless of her status as a prostitute; there was just no fucking way she was going to do this.

Maybe a singing telegram would work better?

But he also looked like a man who was not easily impressed by gestures, so Andy made up some bullshit excuse about him being needed back at the Runway offices and thankfully he followed her.

The elevator ride was uncomfortable but for the most part, it seemed that Irv was just what he appeared to be, a silly little man who was very little when it came to the true plot of the movie. Urm, I mean story...

Back at Runway, Andy cringed as she heard Miranda exclaiming about the sky falling, but it was even more bizarre when Emily walked up to her and said, "Tut tut, looks like rain."

Could this day get any more bizarre?

Just then, a group of those crazy Japanese that you see in game shows walked in from one of the elevators, each one of them carrying a plastic instrument. Perfect! Now to just get everyone to burst into song, but which song?

It needed to be something that everyone knew.

Miranda walked by and shrieked, "The sky is falling, do something!" Andy blinked and glanced at Irv who was looking suitably smarmy beside her.

Emily rolled her eyes and this time while looking at Irv said very pointedly in her perfectly sexy British accent. "Tut tut, looks like rain."

Andy broke away from Irv and chased after the crazy Japanese, hopefully they would be able to help. Thankfully the majority of the office was in attendance as it seemed that it was time for a hookers meeting or something...

o o o o

Irv was feeling like he had stepped into the twilight zone. Miranda was acting truly bizarre, Emily was obviously insane, Andy looked even more fuckable than usual, and um, suddenly the crazy Japanese who were there for some reason totally unrelated to a sane plot started to play on their plastic instruments.

"Oh, my god, Becky, look at her butt. It is so big..." The words crawled into Irv's ear like an earwig on that Star Trek movie that he could not remember the name of right now.

As if madness had been added to the air conditioning, in very short order everyone around him begun to sing along.

Irv even found himself humming along. "Baby got back! I like 'em round and big."

"The sky is falling!" Miranda yelled above the chorus.

Emily walked by. "Tut tut, looks like rain."

Irv decided that perhaps someone had slipped him some LSD.

"Playing workout tapes by Fonda." It seems that more people had joined in the singing now.

Irv shook his head and decided to go home. Maybe this was all a dream and tomorrow when he woke up it would all be different and he would actually have a decent sized dick, versus just a decent sized wallet.

o o o o

"How did we get here?" Miranda demanded of Andy an indeterminate amount of time later.

Andy looked around the truck of the car that she and Miranda had found themselves locked into. As far as she could remember, it had something to do with dancing on top of the car, but she was not sure...

What she did know, was that she was not a prostitute, but she would be happy to throw herself for money or for free at this woman lying beside her.

Damn, but Miranda was hot, big orange dick or no...

**The End**

**(passes baton to the next writer -- hope you liked my effort)**


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